Resolutions and resistance

Fun fact: so far I've upheld two of my three New Year's resolutions! It's a nice thing to console myself with, especially when I need a distraction from the news and the feeling that this country is a sinking ship. 

Resolution One was to start working on my book again. I starting plugging away at a memoir about my accident experience a couple years ago. I felt so confident when I started, but then hit a wall (a different wall from the one the SUV threw me against though, HEYO) and shelved it. But this year I decided to roll up my sleeves and get back into it. I took a workshop, I made an outline I feel confident about, and now I'm plugging away at a proposal. OH HI publishers! I love you!

Resolution Two was to blog once a week. And holy shit, I'm doing it! Blogging weekly has been a great way to clear my head and share whatever's on my mind. In some ways I treat this blog like homework, since it's a weekly assignment, but it's great to write freely with no specific theme attached. For those of you keeping track at home, I did post to my Tumblr a few times and counted those as my weekly posts. I don't consider this cheating, because it's still a blog. Also, it's my resolution and I make the rules. Yay!

And OK, since you're wondering, Resolution Three was to learn how to French braid my own hair. So far I've made no progress. Send help.

I am proud of these accomplishments, but lately I wish I'd been allotting more time for active resistance. Yes, I participated in the NYC Women's March in January, which was a beautiful experience, but I can't say I've done anything to actively protest the current administration.

I do know a couple things about myself, however:

  1. I am not the yelling type.
  2. Being in a crowd of yelling people makes me super anxious.

I'm not made for protests. BUT that doesn't mean I can just throw up my hands and do nothing. 

I'm struggling to find the next step, to figure out what comes between feeling frozen and yelling in the street. For example:

Beyond that timid search (which actually yielded some helpful results!), I'm focusing on listening and learning. Listening closely to people who are making a difference, listening to people of color, and staying educated. I acknowledge the privileges I have as a middle-class white woman living in a liberal city, and I want to do more than just feel bad about it.

I recently read this article, which has been a great place to start:

So You Want To Fight White Supremacy by Ijeoma Oluo

I encourage everyone to read it, and to start asking all those questions.

I'm not sure what the next step is, but I'm making it my very belated resolution to keep listening and learning and, when it feels right, take action. If you've already found that next step, tell me about it, and send me any other recommended reading! 

(And yes, OK, please also send me tips for French braiding my own hair. It sound like a soothing thing to practice while listening to the news.)

Have a safe, informed, beautiful weekend, friends!