If I've learned one thing from using Slack as the main form of communication in my workplace, it's that I'm bad at acronyms. And also that I hate acronyms.

I'm fine with a basic "OMG" or "LOL," but even then I'd prefer to type out words that more accurately describe my reaction, like "holy shit" or "hahahaha." (However, my friend Brock recently pointed out that a well placed "LOL" can change everything, like when it's your sole reply to your coworker's grandiose farewell-I'm-leaving-the-company email. Well played, Brock.)

I am constantly Googling semi-obvious things like "SMH" and "LMK" and, to be honest, I often forget what "TBH" means. (See what I did there??). It's extra hard if the acronym looks like something my brain has already identified and can't let go of. For example: my team was using "PTC" pretty frequently, and while I now know it means "preaching to the choir," I couldn't help trying to wrangle it as some hybrid of "physical therapy" and "politically correct." "Politics therapeutically correct," perhaps? 

Here's another fun one: shortening "internationalization" to "i18n." Because there are 18 letters between the "i" and the "n." YES REALLY. It pains me. Can we not spare the extra seven seconds that it takes to type out those 18 letters in the middle? Aren't we already taking just as much time or more to pick out the perfect reaction emoji? Is the written word lost?? Aaauuugghhhh. 

Here's the only solution I can think of to survive this cruel modern world of shortened words: make up my own new acronyms and wait for them to catch on. Here are a few I've been dreaming up:

CMP = clutching my pearls - Example: "You farted in the elevator on purpose? CMP." (Urban Dictionary tells me this acronym is already out there as "creamed my panties" but... no. Let's all agree it's "clutching my pearls" instead.)

CIC = covered in crumbs - Example: "Sorry for all the typos — my keyboard is CIC." (Also great because it reads like "sick" and makes your keyboard or your desk or wherever the crumbs are sound extra cool.) 

TMTO = too many tabs open - Example: "I don't know where this music is coming from! TMTO!"

I could probably think up some more, but let's start by integrating those three into the lexicon, shall we? 

I would also love to know your own soon-to-be-in-Urban-Dictionary acronyms, or the acronyms that you always have to look up because you constantly forget what they mean.

TTFN! (Remember that one??)